As both a parent and a teacher, I understand the importance and value of being involved in my son’s educational journey. As a parent, I want to know every little detail—what he’s learned, how his day has been, what activities he’s done, whether he’s progressing at the right pace, and what I can do to help.

As a teacher, I often have parents asking me the same question: What can I do to help? Ultimately, this question and the need to understand how our children are doing drive us as parents to seek communication with their teachers.

In their book, The Power of Showing Up, psychotherapists Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson write:

“What’s the single most important thing I can do for my kids to help them succeed? … Our answer is simple (but not necessarily easy): show up for your kids.”

Showing up doesn’t just mean being physically present—it also means being mentally and emotionally engaged. Children who feel that their parents are invested in their education tend to be more motivated, feel accountable, and experience greater support. At parents’ evenings, I often remind families that we are a team, all wanting the same thing: to see their child succeed. And what is key to teamwork? Communication.

So how can parents ensure they are showing up for their children’s education? How do they communicate effectively with teachers while getting the regular, detailed insights they need—without overburdening teachers?

What are the Benefits?

1. Improves Student Outcomes

Ultimately, we all want our children to reach their full potential and feel a sense of achievement that will open doors for their future. Teachers share this goal. By working collaboratively with teachers, parents can reinforce learning at home, ensuring children receive the support they need in both key environments—school and home. This partnership fosters a sense of accountability and consistency in a child’s learning journey.

2. Supports Learning Beyond the Classroom

Regular communication with teachers can help parents identify areas where their child may need additional support. This information is invaluable when working with private tutors, as it allows for more targeted tuition sessions. When teachers, parents, and tutors align their efforts, a child’s learning experience becomes more cohesive and effective.

3. Builds Positive Relationships

Open communication between parents and teachers fosters a strong, supportive relationship. When parents show they are willing to work alongside teachers, it reassures educators that the learning process extends beyond the classroom. A collaborative approach strengthens trust and ultimately benefits the child.

Balancing Communication Effectively

According to the Department for Education’s September 2024 Working Lives of Teachers and Leaders report, school leaders work an average of 58.2 hours per week, while classroom teachers work around 52.4 hours per week. Additionally, only 17% of teachers and leaders agreed with the statement: “I have an acceptable workload.”

The report also found that teachers spend a significant portion of their time on non-teaching tasks, including:

• 75% on administrative work
• 57% following up on behaviour incidents
• 56% recording, inputting, monitoring, and analysing data
• 47% communicating with parents or guardians

Given these demands, excessive emails or meetings may be counterproductive. While teachers want to engage with parents, it’s important to strike a balance—allowing them the time they need to plan, mark, and deliver high-quality lessons while still keeping parents informed.

Effective Ways to Communicate with Teachers

1. Use School-Approved Channels

• Ensure you are connected to parent portals (e.g., Class Dojo, Satchel One, Arbor) for updates.
• Check the school’s policy on emails and scheduled meetings to understand the best way to communicate.

2. Regular but Concise Check-Ins

• If feasible, request a short monthly progress update from your child’s form tutor (secondary) or classroom teacher (primary).
• Attend open evenings for brief face-to-face discussions.
• Make the most of parents’ evenings by preparing specific questions (e.g., What areas should we focus on at home? How can we best support our child’s progress?).

3. Engage with Homework and Classwork Feedback

• Regularly review your child’s workbooks to track progress and teacher feedback.
• Help your child reflect on their teachers’ comments and encourage a proactive approach to improving their work.

4. Liaise with Tutors

• Use school feedback to inform your child’s tutoring sessions, ensuring the tuition complements their school learning.
• Share teacher insights with tutors so they can tailor their lessons to address specific areas of development.

Building Positive Relationships with Teachers

1. Be Solution-Focused, Not Demanding

Approach conversations with teachers constructively. Instead of asking, Why is my child struggling?, reframe the question as, How can we support them at home? This approach fosters collaboration rather than putting the teacher on the defensive.

2. Acknowledge Teachers’ Time Constraints

Understand that teachers want to maintain strong relationships with parents but may have limited availability. Keeping communication concise and purposeful helps ensure discussions are productive.

3. Encourage a Growth Mindset

If your child is present during discussions with teachers, be mindful of your tone. Avoid language that may make them feel like they are failing. Instead, emphasise learning as a journey and focus on continuous improvement.

Final Thoughts

While open communication between parents and teachers is valuable, what we do with that information is what truly matters. Daily updates would be pointless if we didn’t act on the insights shared by teachers.

To support your child effectively:

• Attend face-to-face events and prepare thoughtful questions for parents’ evenings.
• Regularly check their workbooks and review teacher feedback.
• Use school parent portals for updates.
• Follow the school’s communication policies to ensure respectful and effective dialogue.

By maintaining constructive, respectful, and purposeful communication, parents and teachers can work together to ensure every child thrives in their education.

References:

Siegel, D.J. and Bryson, T.P. (2020) The power of showing up: how parental presence shapes who our kids become and how their brains get wired. New York: Ballantine Books.

Department for Education (2024) Working lives of teachers and leaders: wave 2 - main research report. Available here. (Accessed: 24-02-2025).